39: Messy, Honest, and Moving Forward
Still figuring it out, kind of thriving.
I turn 39 tomorrow.
Ten years ago, 29 felt like a cliff. Someone told me the 30s would be the best years of my life, and I rolled my eyes while googling “is 30 considered old.”
She was right.
Not because life got easier, but because I got clearer, braver, and more grounded.
Learning to Slow Down to Speed Up
There was no single aha. It was a breadcrumb trail of mentors saying:
look at the bigger picture
take your time
connect the dots
I was sprinting from win to win. Useful in a crisis, terrible as a lifestyle.
My new pace looks like this: step back and name the problem, say the tradeoffs out loud, pick the next best step instead of every step at once. Moving with intention beats moving on adrenaline.
The Schoolhouse Saga
We bought our first home, a retired schoolhouse, and treated YouTube like graduate school. Seven years later, it is charming, slightly crooked, and very us. My husband once fell through the attic ceiling. He also tenses when I walk by with a hammer or start a sentence with “I was thinking,” because history says he will finish the project I started with Olympic‑level enthusiasm and toddler‑level follow‑through.
What I know now: measure twice, then measure again, because the walls will still lie. Prioritize systems over pretty. Celebrate a level shelf like it is a national holiday.
Parenting a Human, Not a Project
Biggest lesson. My daughter is not just my kid, she is a full human with her own weather system. I tried to protect her by hiding my sad days. She felt it anyway, and my silence created distance. When I started telling the truth in age‑appropriate ways, she met me there. She opened up too. We are teammates now. She is still my kid and also my favorite person.
From Debt to Doing the Math
Money used to be the background hum in my head. The way out was not glamorous. Rules and repetition. Eat out once a week. Cap the fun budget and stick to it. Automate bills and savings so feelings do not vote. Track everything, even when it stings.
Slowly it worked. Debt dropped, savings grew, and real estate became our grown‑up elective. We closed on rental number three and are scouting number four. First‑timer mistake I will not repeat: overpaying and over‑upgrading for a market that did not ask for it. The granite can wait. Sound bones, good systems, solid neighborhood trends, conservative numbers. That is the list.
Work That Grew Me Up
From my first big‑girl role at Blue Door to three agencies after, I learned people leadership, sharper technical chops, and the difference between being helpful and being a doormat. Better questions. Earlier escalations. Put blockers on the table instead of heroing through them.
Leadership lesson I wish I learned sooner: trust your gut.
Even great leaders get it wrong. If it feels off, name it. If it still feels off, fight for it. Clarity is kinder than quiet.
Back to School, Saturdays Only
I chased a lifetime goal and enrolled in an Executive MBA. Eighteen months, every Saturday. It was brutal in the best way.
Cases, frameworks, finance models, and the kind of peer debates that sharpen your brain and soften your ego. I left with a degree and a network of lifelong friends who answer midnight texts about cash flow and career crossroads.
What Travel Taught Me About Perspective
My passport sat empty until my 30s. Cabo warmed me up. Prague and Greece rewired my daydreams. India shifted the ground under my feet. It was stunning and heavy, generous and stark. People with far fewer resources than most Americans showed me more grace than many of us with more. Travel taught me to carry curiosity, not certainty. I want more of that in my 40s.
Health, Inside and Out
I lost more than 120 pounds. The headline is not the scale, it is consistency. I move at least twice a week and aim for three or more. On workout days I am lighter in mood, more patient, easier in my skin. Skip too many and everyone can tell. This is sanity maintenance, not a spectacle.
Loss, Love, and Our Small Zoo
We said goodbye to the best dog a family could have. Grief rearranged the furniture in my brain. Then we opened the door to more life. Three new dogs. A hedgehog. Chickens. Ducks. An axolotl.
The house is louder, messier, and funnier. It is impossible to stay stuck when something needs feeding every hour.
Sisterhood, Upgraded!
Somewhere in the chaos, my relationship with my older sister became one of my favorite parts of adulthood. We grew into each other. More calls, more honesty, more cheering from the cheap seats. There is nothing like a sibling who knows your history and still bets on your future.
Real Estate, Round Three, and Maybe Four
Closing on the third rental felt almost boring, which is my new definition of success. The numbers worked. Boundaries were clear. We did not try to renovate our personalities into the place. Now we are scouting the next one with patience. Let the math be the boss.
The Big Swing Filter
People ask what is next. Here is how I decide.
Does it align with my values and the life I want to live?
Can I reverse it if it is wrong?
Will it grow both skill and character?
Do the time and money math support it?
Do I have the right people to do it well?
There may be a final big bang before 40. Not ready to share details yet. Definitely ready to chase them.
Weekly Writing, Publicly Declared
I want year 39 to be the year I publish something new every week. Essays, quick hits, travel notes, tiny wins, messy questions. Accountability welcome.
What I Am Carrying Into 40
Choose pace on purpose.
Tell the truth at home first.
Do the math before the mood.
Travel for perspective, not photos.
Move your body so your brain thanks you.
Trust your gut and your data.
Celebrate small progress like it is the point.